You don’t become happy by pursuing happiness. You become happy by living a life that means something. 

People commit suicide not because they’re unhappy but because they lack meaning. Kids are really expensive and don’t make parents happier, but children bring enormous meaning to people’s lives.

The happy feelings faded fast. Over the long term, pursuing meaning actually boosted psychological health.

Today, right now, is the best time ever to choose to do something that truly matters. Something meaningful to you. That ONE thing that makes you create value that means a lot to you. Something you alone can share with the rest of us.

Pursuing meaning makes you feel good about yourself, because you are pursuing something bigger than yourself.

You won’t discover your life’s work by wondering or worrying about it. And it doesn’t come fully formed. You’ll discover it by taking action, everyday. By looking at what is working and what isn’t, you can align yourself with your why and what or the passion and purpose for your life.

1. Belonging. 归属感

Quickest way to add meaning to your life is to belong to a group.

People with the happiest lives were “takers.” But those with the most meaningful lives were “givers.” As we saw, happiness isn’t everything. Parenthood is the ultimate form of giving. And givers lead meaningful lives.

2. Purpose. 目的性

Purpose is less about what you do and more about how you see what you do.

One of the best ways to derive fulfilment as an employee is to work on projects you initiate. Something you are responsible for. If you can take more initiates and implement a lot of your own ideas, instead of reacting to actions others expect of you, your chances of finding fulfilment could double.

You need something that motivates you and that you can organize your actions around. How can you redefine your role at work to find more meaning? What’s a bigger goal it contributes to? How does it better the lives of others?

WHY you pursue something is as equally important as WHAT you pursue. Purpose eases the pain of the long hours and gives you the fortitude to fail. It makes menial tasks meaningful and even fulfilling.

Finding (and doing) what makes you come alive changes everything. Pursue something so important that even if you fail, the world is better off with you having tried.

3. Storytelling. 叙事性

You have a story you tell yourself about your life — whether you realize it or not.

Human brain is wired for stories. It’s how you make sense of the world. Narrative identity as an internalized story you create about yourself — your own personal myth. In redemption stories, the protagonists move from suffering to salvation — they experience a negative event followed by a positive event that resulted from the negative event and therefore gives their suffering some meaning.

You rarely get to change the world, but you can change your internal story. Beyond stories of redemption, people who believe their lives are meaningful tend to tell stories defined by growth, communion and agency.

Try to divide your live into chapters and to recount key scenes, such as a high point, a low point, a turning point or an early memory. Try think about personal beliefs and values and to reflect on your story’s central theme.

A psychotherapist’s job is to work with patients to rewrite their stories in a more positive way. Even making smaller story edits to our personal narratives can have a big impact on our lives.

4. Transcendence. 超越感

Awe Nature and Love Life.

Sometimes life feels so small. You’re all-in on that one thing and now that thing is gone. It’s absolutely crushing. But there are experiences that provide that feeling of just how big and amazing life is. The secret is a little word with big impact: awe. Get out in nature and nature makes your big problems seem tiny. Looking at the night sky, bright stars who don't admire infinite universe? however, only the wise man fearing the true God who created the universe.

Life can be hard. But remember, while the difficult moments may decrease happiness, they’re essential for building meaning. And that’s what matters in the long run.